There was a Time to Eat White Chocolate

I have a new aberration with time. It seems to be going by too quickly than it used to and it is irritating me because I'm running out of time to work out. I try not to let it show, but I’m terrified it is apparent in my everyday facial expressions. As if some stranger would walk passed me and think to themself, “That lady looks like she’s a total bitch.” 

Not all the time do I have bitch face, just usually like nowadays. A time I know I’m OK with time is when it’s time to clock out from work. When I was able to fantasize about going for a jog, a bike ride, or body surfing. I had a temporary job at Sees Candy. All of my coworkers seem to like working there. They acted like it was so special to get to work there. I think it was too bright in the store and am so not thrilled to wear that bow with my name tag. Before I got hired a friend told me that Sees was hiring. Since I had worked for Lowes for one year near the end of the pandemic, I thought my experience would be a good qualifier for customer service. The customers at Lowes did like me. They sure did like me more when I was in the Paint department than when I was a cashier. I was confident in selecting colors for customers who were painting the exterior of their house and wanted suggestions on what color to paint the trim. They also needed help when it came to matching the color of their dining rooms that were close to the kitchen. They usually always wanted a different color rather than just a different sheen. I don’t know why these people had put so much faith in my opinion, but they did. They were unaware I had a degree in fine art and that two of my professors from CSU Long Beach had called me a "colorist." The customers never came back to complain. I don't recall ever feeling like I had a bitchy looking face then.

After gaining 13 pounds in just over a month while working for Sees I quit. I didn’t think I was a "sweets kind of person". I have no special taste for chocolate (yet I learned I prefer dark). But oh my, the Divinity Puff, a fluffy white chocolate center with English walnuts covered in white chocolate is to die for. So is their Cashew Brittle, a buttery brittle with whole cashews covered in white chocolate. 

If you are ever close to a Sees Candy, please stop by and try these two white chocolates I mentioned. The employees are also very nice people. I am too, I’m just not a happy bow wearer.

Andy Bell, my Pacific Parrotlet

Today something reminded me of this one time when I was younger but old enough to know better. I tried to scare my little Pacific Parrotlet with a small vibrating toy frog. I held my bird in one hand firmly but not too tight and the other and I had the vibrating frog come near him. His entire body went limp and his head turned and slightly drooped and his feet went softly down. It looked like his body was no longer breathing. I immediately felt like the worst person in the world. My poor sweet little Andy Bell faked his death to save himself from that frog. But, it was ME who caused this. I dropped that toy frog and kissed Andy. He did not die! I apologized like crazy and promised him I would NEVER EVER do anything like that EVER again.

This is an image of a male Pacific Parrotlet from Google. I don't have a picture of Andy on my laptop right now.

He was such an affectionate loving little bird. 

Every night he would sleep on a perch next to my bed. And every morning he would wake up super early and hop on my bed, get under the covers next to my neck, and snuggle until it was time for me to wake up. One morning I woke up and he was down by my feet. I guess he decided to wander under the covers a bit.

He had a voice too. He would say, "I love you", kiss sound, kiss sound "kiss", "Where's Andy?", "Absolutely" and other words.

Garter Snake one summer

One summer day, when I was about 8 or 9 years old, I was playing basketball alone while my sister Sue and our neighborhood friend Janelle watched me. During one of my throws, my ball rebounded and bounced over to the edge of the garage of the house next door. It then slowly rolled in an eerily strange circular motion and stopped. I recall thinking, "How weird" about the way it came to a slow stop. When I picked up the ball, I found a pretty big snake underneath. In my young eyes, it looked huge and about 5 feet long, but it was probably closer to two and a half feet in length. Luckily, my uncle happened to be painting the inside of that house's driveway where the snake was lying. I ran inside to get him because I didn't want the snake to slither its way anywhere around where I was playing. Plus, I trusted he wasn't afraid to handle it.

What does he do? He grabs the snake and chases us with it. I had no time to feel betrayal, instead, I was instantly terrified. We all ran into my house. Janelle and I made it into the bathroom, but my poor sister Sue made it only half in while we tried to shut the door. It wasn't on purpose, it just happened that she didn't make it in when we wanted that door shut. I can still visualize my poor sister while my uncle held that snake in her face while we all shrilled blood-curdling screams.

He finally stopped torturing us and let the snake free off into the backyard of the house he was painting. He explained it was a harmless Garter snake. I stopped playing basketball that day but from then on, I am very aware of how a ball lands if it lands on top of something coiled like a snake. And, I will be careful about who to ask for help if my ball ever landed strangely the way my basketball did that day.

Note to a colleague

Hi Katie! 

I found a phone picture of our small Web Imaging Production Team minus one, (omg, I forget his name!) do you remember his name? Cool dude, and a fabulous artist. Our small department always arrived on time and worked a full eight hours on-site. Thanks to our awesome manager, Yuni, "diligent" became more of the meaning I've always interpreted it to be. I have great admiration for that woman. And the rest of you peeps as well. My five months of working there stick in my memory with endearment now 6 years later. If there was an attachment option, I would include the phone pic. Yet, since I am also posting this letter on my blog, I haven't asked and received an "OK" to post publicly, so I guess I shouldn't post it here.

I hope you are doing well. I enjoyed your website. I've been to New Orleans but not New York. My high school girlfriend and I had this lofty plan to 'run away' to Brooklyn from our homes in Torrance, which my sister called Borrance. I had a pen pal in Brooklyn who said we could stay with her in her apartment until we got our own place. However, Kathy's mom discovered that Kathy borrowed her credit cards (presumably without permission) along with acting out some other hijinks and unfortunately ended up in a juvenile hall. Or as she put it, I got sentenced to "Juvy" baby. 

Can you imagine me, the most introverted, sheltered, excruciatingly shy person in high school friends and a lover with the most outrageous, extroverted, bold, confrontational person? It didn't stop there. I've fortunately continued to make the most wonderfully unusual loving and compassionate wild friends with similar outrageous extrovert personalities that have entertained and enriched my life.

I have a picture of us, (my high school girlfriend) dressed up as two Rocky Horror Picture Show characters somewhere on Facebook. She was Columbia (also above, and in my favorite pictures (hard copies) box somewhere in my bedroom). I was Frank N. Furter in his doctor's gown. She was Columbia in her PJs. One weekend night at the Tiffany Theater on Sunset Blvd in Hollywood which played RHPS at midnight every weekend for a few years there was a look-alike contest. Check this out. On that upcoming weekend night, we had our costumes prepared. My mom took our picture prior to our drive up to Sunset Blvd. After the movie ended the contest began. When it came time for the Columbias to go on stage to be judged by applause Kathy chickened out. She stuck to her chair nervously giggling. When they called the Frank N. Furters', I didn't hesitate and walked on up to the stage with the other Dr. Furters. Maybe the bottle of champagne we shared in the parking lot before standing in line helped my (liquid) courage. And when called to step up I distinctly remember the sound of which was the second loudest applause for us Frank N. Furters. Had I been in the corset and fishnets I might have won.
Goodness, I meant to say hello and tell you I still remember how much I enjoyed working with you and the other team members at the San Bruno Sam’s Club during those enjoyable five months. This here is a little text I copied and pasted plus added some more detail to my blog.

Peace and Love,
Kathleen

Coming Out

Do you remember coming out of your mother's womb? I do.

In my late 30s and early 40s I experienced very clear and several (four- six?) recurring dreams. They were intense and felt real - not to be mistaken as surreal - it was as if it were actually happening again. There was an extreme deep tickling feeling at my sides, that I could not stop on my own. Concurrent was this freakish sound like a scream coming from the outside of my dark cave, which I interpreted as a witch's mad laugh or cry. Finally, those fat grabbing things (fingers) stopped pulling at my sides right when the screaming stopped and suddenly I was loosened and exposed to a bright light of which was seemingly new yet strangely familiar. The ordeal left me exhausted. While I wanted to rest I felt this intuition to keep an eye on my surroundings as I was being cradled by an unknown being. Not like that previous cradle of buoyant comfort I had moments before the torturous extraction of that mad tickling sensation at my sides that pulled me away from what I now know was my mother's womb.

Lizards and Land

I love reptiles. Particularly lizards. I once caught a darling lizard up in Big Bear and brought it home. I was about 6 years old and wanted to keep as her/him as my pet. As a week passed my mom thought Lizzy (the named I gave her or him) belonged outside somewhere in the wild. Back then, there was a lot of space of nothing but dirt bushes and spare free land. Tumble weeds used to roll down our street many windy days. I loved it. Sometimes I would catch one on an August or September afternoon and turn it into an early Christmas tree the hang bright shiny found objects onto it. Then, later, let it blow on down the road. Tumbling a more sparkling than before I caught it.

Many stray dogs, and cats passed through as well. I would feed them when then stopped by. But every morning when I went to greet my new pet, they were gone. A vagrant feral animal could always get a healthy warm meal from my forts porch.

So, we let Lizzy lose in a field in Lomita near a high school. I was sad and happy at the same time. 

Today I'm mostly sad about the over development of our now called city. I think it was a town back in the early 60s. We used to have wild life like foxes, lizards, huge dragonflies, wild dogs and cats, and frogs, big frogs hopping all over the pace. My mom once saw a nice sized 6 inch or so frog swimming toward her in our swimming pool one afternoon in the late 60s. Unfortunately, we would often find frog pancakes on the street. At first I would just observe the flatten creature and go on my way yet as time went on and I grew a few months older and more compassionate I felt the responsibility to scoop the poor amphibian from the road and toss it in our garage can.

Over development is by far, and I mean, way far too over developed. For what? More money in the developers bank accounts? There is also too much over breeding. Seriously. Look at us. Too much traffic. Too many people. Nowhere to park. Frustration. Mass shootings. Homeless. Insanity. Control people! Control yourselves! I knew this as a child. That's why I NEVER envisioned having a child. In this world? So far, I think I was right. Don't even get get started on lizards!

Love Rocks

I often take pictures with my phone. They're usually abstract looking images of random objects in the light and shadow I see worth shooting, sometimes people, my dog, clouds, etc. I saw this that one of my neighbors put on their garden wall and thought it would be nice to share.