Boxed In Poem, 2007

Boxed In

Why do people try to box each other in?
They want to put you in a place.
They say, "You are this, you are that. And, you should stay there and you should do that."
They want to box you up.
Put you in a box. As time goes on, the boxes they make get smaller.
The apartments are smaller and smaller.
The rooms are smaller, the cubicles are smaller, the ceilings are lower, and the view is limited to the box next door.

Chess game

October someday, 1997 

It was a late afternoon in the later summer of the late 1990s. I went online, on Yahoo games, to play a game of chess. Back then, it was free. Maybe it still is, I don’t know, I have not checked. Back then, I was obsessed with the game. There was an option to turn a chat window on or off while playing the game. Therefore, you could chat with your opponent during the game. Other players, if the game was set “public”, could also join to watch, and they would also be able to chat. Most players were average decent people who would comment on a move like, “nice move”. It was a way to make the game as humanly interactive as possible, being you could play with anybody in the internet world. Most of the time I left the chat option on.

This day before, I had lost almost every game I played the day before. I was seriously addicted. You know, like how people get addicted to buying lottery tickets, doodling while they’re on the phone, or those lazy self-entitled persons who never use the left/right indicator when changing lanes. This was me about chess. 

This particular game, I did not want to lose. Therefore, I searched for a player labeled with a gray square next to their Yahoo Chess game name. Gray square players were titled Provisional. It didn’t necessarily mean they sucked at the game, however, if you were playing in the game long enough and did not advance in the skill you would remain a gray squared player. Yet, master type players playing their first Yahoo chess game would first be displayed as a gray square next to their chosen on the site their first time. If they continued in playing in the site, they're eventually advanced quickly to blue, then purple, them or, and if they were really great, they would have a red square next to their Yahoo Chess name. One also takes the chance when playing a gray squared player. 95 out of 100, they were truly amateur players. 

I consistently remained a Blue Square. Not great, but I was persistently competitive. I stayed a Blue Square by continuously playing Blue Square players and some high Grays. I didn’t mind, I simply enjoyed the game at the rate I was positioned at that time. Occasionally a low blue square or high Gray would kick my ass. Now, no worries, we all lose and win sometimes. All, in good gamesmanship.

So, this one day wanting to play a game where I’d take a chance on a provisional player being beginner, I searched for a gray square. Found one. Yahoo Chess game name was Benbighard81. Sounded like a name a 13 or 15-year boy old would make up. I don’t mind playing young kids. They have a lot less life to worry about and some are damn good at the game. I was white, so I moved first, a pawn, two squares forward. He moved a black knight, my left side. Then, he clicked, “UNDO.” In Yahoo Chess one has an option to undo, given their opponent grants permission. I gave permission so he could undo his move. A couple of minutes pass, and he makes the same move. I normally did not like granting UNDOs, but there was the possibility he slipped on the mouse or made an honest mistake in his move. This second request was OK. It wasn't obvious why he wanted to take back the exact move a second time, and it was soon enough to put my pieces in harm, so I granted his second UNDO request. I felt too generous already even though it was just the second move made of the game.

About six or seven moves are made between us. He makes a blatantly bad move endangering his queen. My next move of a pawn would capture his queen. I requested an UNDO. I deny. In the chat window, he writes, "bastard." I reply nothing. I capture his queen with my mere pawn. He types, "Fat bastard...ugly fat bastard." I write nothing. I wait for his move on the board. He doesn't make a move, but types, "you suck." A few minutes pass, then he moves. He's not a bad player. He was aggressive and played well, but I think he doesn't give enough thought between moves. We make a few more moves and I capture another major piece. In the chat window, he types, "Fuck you. I bet you are a fat ugly bastard." He continues typing these kinds of words, yet continuous on with the game. I continue to capture many of his pieces and at last, put his king in check. He types again, "Fucking ugly bastard. He could have moved to remove his king from being in check, but he just types, "Fuck you, you homosexual bastard. Fucking fat bastard.

He left the table naturally without politely resign. When your opponent leaves an unfinished game, the remaining player must wait ten minutes until a prompt appears requesting to force his forfeit, cancel the game, or save the game. I waited out the 10 minutes then I forced forfeit on that fucking fat ugly homosexual bastard.